he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize