Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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