I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
