he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
