hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
