so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
