Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
