i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You ate ashes out of my bong
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
