even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
