elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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