I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
