just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
