I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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