covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
