perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
