Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
