Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The beers last night were like the tears from god
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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