There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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