just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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