just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
