Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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