I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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