so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
