just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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