So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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