Whoa Z and x make the same sound
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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