I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I will be naked everywhere
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
