Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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