There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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