At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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