Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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