is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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