I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My cat gives me a boner
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
