Cold hands, warm shart.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
