Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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