flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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