This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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