He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
