i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
