I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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