I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
