Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
