He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize