Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
