If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
