escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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