i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
