I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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