physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just had sex bonerless
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
