8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize