OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
