You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize