He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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