so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
