they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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