8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
her vagine was all disorganized.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
