haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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