its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
