I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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