I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
