A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
