question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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