It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
