Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize