i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
