Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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