We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
