hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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