Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize